That Lucky Scotch

A roomful of actors waiting to go onstage has a unique vibe. A mix of nervous banter and self absorption. If you’re a cast member, you have permission to interact. That’s because it helps the show to connect. But if you are a piano player like me, it’s good form to become invisible, just quitely wait for the show to start. I caught a lucky break from preshow tedium one cold winter night around mid March in the year 2000.

It was at the Sidetrack Cafe in Edmonton back when Tuesday nights were comedy nights. At that time the comedy scene was flourishing partly because 20 years earlier the Second City franchise from Toronto and Chicago had come to town to make a television show. It would heavily influence comedy around the world and I was excited to be part of it as a newly hired Music Director. Our dinner show was a side hustle directed and produced by the stars of the Second City Television Show. SCTV was a big part of my past and the main reason I landed a regular gig at the Sidetrack. But I wasn’t the only one to benefit. Many local actors learned comedy improv from being hired by Second City and so a scene was born and would flourish in Edmonton.

So now I sit here on a Tuesday night bored out of my skull years later, a nearly forgotten veteran of the golden 1980’s. Not completely ignored but no longer in the spotlight. Slightly older and routinely dismissed, and I  ask myself “How in the name of Jesus can I get anyone interested to talk to me and help make the time go a little faster?”

Suddenly I had an idea. Most actors are wildly superstitious so maybe I should try promising them good luck. I start to think about how I can spin my useful success into something they might want. Then I announce to the dressing room that I have a magical ability to endow Fame and Fortune. “It started with Bryan Adams back when our Second City show was opening for him at Lucifer’s Night Club. Bryan was a fan of the way I improvised piano to underscore the comedy sketches. He offered to buy me a drink and I ordered a scotch, no ice. We spent the rest of the night talking about music. With my university degree in music theory, and jazz chops from the North Texas State U, he was all ears. I was laying it on pretty thick that his songs would be much better if they had three parts instead of two. I showed him how Beatles songs all had third section, a bridge. Maybe he should try that.”

“About three months after that scotch I moved to Toronto to continue my career up the ladder with Second City. During a break on a rehearsal one day I noticed a huge billboard with Bryan Adams face on it. What the hell! How did he get there so fast?”

“And then a decade later it happened again. A complete unknown bought me a scotch that manifested Fame and Success for him within about three months. It happened in Santa Monica where I was again performing with Second City at a new theatre they were launching there. One night I went to a bar with our cast after our show. It was a place that Liz Taylor used to like and had an old Hollywood vibe. I spot a guy at the bar I recognize as an extra frequently seen on the television series Star Trek the Next Generation. He’s by himself, and as usual, sitting with the cast is completely boring. So I go over to chat him up and he’s quite friendly. I decide to complement him on his dramatic presence. He is pleased and tells me he is Irish. He then offers to buy me a whiskey. Just my poison! And not long after I turned on the television and Deep Space Nine is announced with a clip of that very same actor as one of the stars. His name is Colm Meaney. Now he’s got a big career in the movies. I swear to you all of this is completely true.”

Now in the Sidetrack dressing room, I’ve got their full attention. And the first to speak is Ron Peterson who says “Are you telling me that if I buy you a scotch I’m going to find Fame and Success within three months? OK I’m in.” Then Ron buys me a scotch.

Soon after all this Ron take a trip to L.A. to see if he can land some work. With absolutely no direct guidance from me he does an audition for a show and doesn’t get the job. But sitting in the back watching was Second City veteran and superstar Martin Short. He’s impressed with Ron and sets up a meeting with the director of a new comedy show called Mad TV. Ron gets the job. My bullshit becomes real.

Now it’s five years later, and I am in a new comedy show with comedian Wes Borg for the Edmonton Fringe Festival. Wes had been good friends with Ron Petersen, and was openly bitter about not being as Famous or Successful in spite of his superior mountain of hard work. He wrote a song for our show and called it”Please Get Me The Fuk Out of Edmonton.” I should mention that Wes is a really great songwriter and all of his songs have bridges. The bridge of this song talks about who the director of Mad TV is and makes fun of Ron’s connection to him. He sings “Ron blew Dick Blasucci blah blah blah…”I become curious about this Dick Blascucci, and look his name up on the internet. What I see blows my mind. I read this….

Episodes – Series 3 – SCTV Guide- MIDNIGHT EXPRESS SPECIAL

A stranger hands Lou a box of hashish. 

Lou Costello – Tony Rosato; Bud Abbott – Eugene Levy; Stranger – Rick Moranis; Guards – Dick Blasucci, Jan Randall, extras

So I had rubbed shoulders with Dick Blasucci years earlier. And it had happened back when Bryan Adams had bought me the first scotch. A shiver runs down my back and then up again. Not only has the scotch connected Ron Peterson to Martin Short but also to an extra from the SCTV sketch I was in who moved on to become the big shot from Mad TV, Dick Blasucci.

Well OK, maybe no big deal. Lots of people find Fame and Success by being associated with Second City. That was it’s brand. I knew that, it’s all just a flashy bit of serendipity. And remember Lucifer’s? Just a coincidence that a joint named after the devil would literally burn down. Yes It Did. And just chance that after Mark Meer bought me a scotch in 2010 that he achieved Success and Fame as the character Commander Shepherd in a Bioware video game Mass Effect. TOTALLY predictable.

ngWith all of this karmic nonsense safely in the past, not much has happened since. The chronological scotch gifting pattern of 1980, 1990, 2000 and 2010 seems to have lost its zip. And now I could not care less if a room full of actors want to completely ignore me. But I have to admit this- when 2020 rolled around, I bought myself a scotch. And now you are reading this.